The sky blue L'Amourose Prism V lying on a floral bedspread.

L’Amourose Prism V Review

The sky blue L'Amourose Prism V lying on a floral bedspread.The L’Amourose Prism V has become my sneaky jerk-off vibe, as well as my go-to travel vibe. Last week I was on holidays in the country, and when I was picking what toys I wanted to bring with me, I immediately knew that I wanted the Prism V. I received it from Max Black a few months ago after lusting after it for months, and the honeymoon period looks like it’s never going to end.

The Prism V is made of body safe, non porous silicone, meaning that it won’t leech chemicals or harbour bacteria, and can be cleaned with a toy cleaner or a 10% bleach solution (provided you rinse that off afterwards!). It’s also fully waterproof and submersible! It charges via USB, which I am usually wary of, but I found that the charging for the Prism V was easier than I expected, and it really holds a charge well.

A closeup of the buttons on the L'Amourose Prism VAesthetically, the Prism V is to die for. I chose the sky blue because it made me think of floating on a soft cloud, but it also comes in a royal blue and an orange-y red that are equally enticing. I’ve seen all three models in person, and the colours are as appealing in reality as in photos. The silicone is also some of the best silicone I’ve ever felt on a vibrator. I was a big fan of Lelo’s silicone, but I think this stuff is way silkier. I spent a good ten minutes just stroking it when I pulled it out of the box, it’s that soft. I’m also head over heels with the buttons on this vibe! It is honestly the most intuitive button system I’ve encountered. I can find everything by feel, and when the Prism V is inserted, I don’t even need to think before I can find the buttons to change speed and settings. The plus button is on the lowest portion of the toy, which is where I usually hold it, so it’s no effort at all to turn up the intensity. This is the first vibe where I remember the placings of the buttons by heart. I love it. All vibrators should have buttons like this.

I think the design of the Prism V is incredible. The head is quite large, which helps with putting pressure on my G spot, but also means that I love the Prism V externally. I often find that strong vibes like the We-Vibe Tango are too small to feel good, because I want my vibrator to cover the whole surface area of my cock when I’m masturbating. Because of the effects of testosterone, my cock is larger than the average clitoris, so it’s hard to find external vibrators that are large enough for that. The Prism V, however, pulls through, and I can cover my whole cock with the head. Additionally, the curve is great internally, and really hones in on my G spot. Externally, it is wonderful too. If I use it on my cock with the handle pointing away from me, I can increase the pressure and change the angle without much difficulty. It feels like a natural position for my hand to be in, and doesn’t exacerbate my joint issues. The direction of the handle does make it feel like I’m jacking up a car with each thrust, and it might be a bit difficult if you have short arms, but I find it does the job well. I can thrust and put pressure on my G spot with minimal effort, and, after all, isn’t laziness the point of masturbation?

The sky blue L'Amourose Prism V lying on a floral bedspread.I was really drawn to the Prism V by the promise of rumbly vibrations. I wanted a smaller-sized internal vibrator that I could use easily. I only owned the Lelo Ina 2 and the Fun Factory Big Boss G5, so I needed something that was small enough to insert without preparation, and didn’t have a pesky clitoral arm. I like vibrations internally, but I am more sensitive to buzzy vibrations in my front hole than I am on my cock, so rumbly is a must. Buzzy vibrations make me itch and numb me out, whereas rumbly ones will reach my internal clitoris and add to the whole experience of a vibrator on my cock. These vibrations are sufficiently rumbly, except for a bit of buzz on the higher settings. I like them internally, and I can feel them light up the rest of my internal complexes. Externally, I find them to be strong enough to easily bring me to orgasm. The vibrations do travel up the handle, but they don’t make my hand itch and they don’t hurt my joints in the way something like the Magic Wand does. I’m also a big fan of the patterns. There’s a wave, a faster wave, a pulse, and a random one. Unlike my preferences externally, I like a few patterns in an internal vibe, and I prefer them to be continuous, rather than having breaks between pulses. The Prism V has two continuous vibration settings, and they can be a lot of fun. The random setting is also a fun warm up setting, because my G spot doesn’t know what to expect. The G spot stimulation I get from the Prism V is great, and especially good when paired with thrusting. The neck of the Prism V is thin, so it doesn’t fill me up the way I like, but my G spot is happy enough for that not to matter.

The Prism V is a wonderful travel vibe. It charges via USB, so can be taken internationally. It also holds charge super well. It is a reasonable size in use but doesn’t take up heaps of space when packing, and comes with a storage pouch. It’s not as small as the quintessential travel vibe, the We-Vibe Tango, but if you need broader stimulation or want the option of using it internally, I don’t think you can go past the Prism V. The only downside is that it’s a bit loud, so might be able to be heard through exceptionally thin walls, but I can’t hear it through covers and my bedroom door when it’s on the highest setting.

Other than the volume, I can’t think of anything bad about the Prism V. It is beautiful, designed well, rumbly, strong, and reasonably priced. I am considering buying a second, so I can use both at once. I’ve never considered buying back-ups of a toy before, but the Prism V has brought me to this point. Honestly, I think if you want a rumbly internal vibe or something that feels comfortable during use externally, buy the Prism V. Maybe buy two.

If you’re interested in buying a L’Amourose Prism V, you can find one at my favourite stores: Max Black (AU, NZ), Lovehoney (AU, US, UK), Early to Bed (US), Peepshow Toys (US), SheBop (US), SheVibe (US)

The Eroscillator 2 with attachments: Ultra Soft Finger Tip, Golden Spoon, Ball and Cup, Grapes and Cockscomb

Eroscillator 2 Plus Soft Tip Combo Review

The Eroscillator 2 with attachments: Ultra Soft Finger Tip, Golden Spoon, Ball and Cup, Grapes and CockscombI got my Eroscillator 2 Plus Soft Tip Combo the same week as my new Dyson vacuum, and there are a lot of surprising similarities between the two. They’re oddly shaped, are the same colour, are smaller than my previous model, have lots of confusing attachments, have obtained cult status, and took me a while to warm up to them. (Unfortunately, unlike my vacuum, my Eroscillator doesn’t stand back up again if I kick it over.) In the world of sex toys, the Eroscillator is renowned. If there was a sex toy hall of fame, the Eroscillator would be nestled up right next to the Magic Wand and the njoy Pure Wand. It’s incredibly unique because instead of vibrating, the Eroscillator oscillates from side to side. I really appreciate this innovation, and am generally very excited by the prospect of new sensations on my genitals. While I don’t think you need to reinvent the wheel to make a good vibrator, sometimes thinking outside the wand/bullet dichotomy is exciting.

The Eroscillator range all have the same oscillating technology, but come with a range of intensities and various attachments. The most basic (Eroscillator 2) comes with one attachment, the Golden Spoon. The Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe has a power boost compared to the Eroscillator 2. I find this system quite frustrating, because if you want to upgrade to a higher powered Eroscillator, you have to buy a whole new model, rather than upgrading certain sections. I think it’s reasonable to sell attachments separately, but to have stark differences between contemporaneous models of a toy seems ridiculous to me. It feels like there’s a lot of pressure to buy the most expensive, most powerful option right off the bat. The Eroscillator line has also recently been revamped, and instead of a unique copper colour that really complemented the design, they’ve gone for the stock-standard colour for sex toy: purple. Granted, this is a really nice metallic type of purple, but I am still upset that I can’t match the wood stain of my bedside table or the metalware in my kitchen to the colour of my Eroscillator.

I bought my Eroscillator 2 Plus Soft Tip Combo from SheBop, which means, you guessed it, it has a US plug. I can’t find a single Australian stockist, and even the Eroscillator website only offers US and EU plug options. Luckily, I already have a step-down transformer for my Magic Wand and my Neon Wand, but if you’re Australian and don’t own a step-down transformer already, that’s another 30 to 50 AUD added onto the already substantial price of the Eroscillator.

My Eroscillator has three power intensities, which are not as strong as other mains-powered vibrators, but stronger than something like the Iroha Midori. I find the cable a bit finicky to plug into the base of the Eroscillator, as well as difficult to pull out. I’m scared that I’m going to break it each time, because there isn’t enough space between the base of the vibrator and the cable to get a good grip on the cord. To change intensities, you slide the control up or down. I really dislike this type of control, because it requires a gentle touch to change between settings. If I use the amount of force that feels natural, I end up turning the vibrator up from the lowest setting to the highest, completely skipping the middle. This generally means that in order to change intensities, I have to pull the Eroscillator off my cock, and pay attention while I’m switching intensities. Most importantly, the Eroscillator has to match your masturbation style for it to be enjoyable. The first time I tried the Eroscillator was 30 minutes before I had to leave for a party, and I wanted to get off quickly before I went out. I thought the Eroscillator would be perfect for this: it was bulky, promised intense orgasms, and was mains powered. Surely it could get me off quickly! But for me, this was not the case. The Eroscillator is more like when my partner jerks me off, in that it builds up over time. Sometimes I find this too intense, which is not a problem I have with standard vibrations, even really powerful ones. The Eroscillator does give strong orgasms, but they aren’t as quick as something like the Doxy is. I can’t force the orgasm to come quicker with a bit of muscle clenching. The Eroscillator does what it wants, in it’s own damn time. I also found that pressure severely dampens the oscillations, so it works best with a gentle touch. However, the trade-off is that the orgasms I have with the Eroscillator are long as well. I can ride them out for at least thrice as long as I can with a wand, because the Eroscillator is gentler and doesn’t overstimulate me very much. At the moment, my favourite way to use it is with the njoy Pure Wand. The encouragement of the Pure Wand means that my orgasm comes faster and is a little bit more under my control. The combination of strong G-spot orgasm and a long external orgasm is a real reward for my hard work.

The Eroscillator doesn’t come with patterns, but I don’t think this is an issue, because each of the different attachments provides really interesting sensations. I have four attachments with my Eroscillator, which adds up to 7 different surfaces. I’ve ordered them from least to most enjoyable, but I can reach an enjoyable orgasm with each attachment.

The Eroscillator attachment, The Golden SpoonGolden Spoon: The Golden Spoon is an elongated depression, with some bumps on the other side, I feel like the Golden Spoon attachment is meant for smaller clitorides than mine. It doesn’t fit comfortably over my cock, meaning that I don’t get the feeling of being surrounded by vibrations. The bumpy side is imperceptible to my cock, and often a little irritating to my outer labia.

The Eroscillator attachment, the Ball and CupBall and Cup: The Ball and Cup is a circular depression with three large bumps on the other side. The Cup, like the Golden Spoon, is too small to cover my whole cock, but can comfortably surround the tip. Otherwise, it ends up poking my junk. I like it better than the Golden Spoon, but it is more uncomfortable if not placed correctly. I can feel the Ball side more than the bumps on the Golden Spoon, but I didn’t get the broad stimulation I generally prefer.

The Eroscillator attachment, the Grapes and CockscombGrapes and Cockscomb: The Grapes and Cockscomb is a series of large bumps with a protruding fan shape on the other side. This is hands down the weirdest looking attachment, but I really like it. The grapes are interesting in texture, and feel like a massage on my cock. I feel a bit pinched if I use it on the exposed tip of my cock, but on the safe they were really enjoyable. However, my natural instinct is to increase the pressure, which dampens the intensity significantly. The Cockscomb is ineffectual if I use the thinner portion on the top of my cock, but if I lie it along the side, it gives a really nice broad stimulation. However, like this, it can occasionally buzz my pubic bone.

The Eroscillator attachment, the Ultra Soft Finger TipUltra Soft Finger Tip: This attachment is squishy, like a marshmallow. This is my absolute favourite, because it feels so different to any other vibrator I own. It feels like the oscillations are travelling across and through my cock, which really excites the whole internal complex. It is sufficiently broad, and the only attachment where pressure increases sensation. I would recommend getting this in addition to the standard set, with the caveat that it is more of a lint magnet than the other attachments.

The Eroscillator has me in two minds. It’s expensive, and the attachments are porous, so they can’t be disinfected. It is, however, unlike anything else on the market, and a tried and tested favourite of many reviewers I trust. I don’t think it’s a necessity to your toybox, but if I want a long, relaxed, gentle masturbation session, the Eroscillator is a top pick.

If you’re interested in buying an Eroscillator 2 Plus Soft Finger Combo, you can find one at my favourite stores: Good Vibrations (US), SheBop (US), SheVibe (US)

A full-length photo of the Doxy Wand

Doxy Wand Review

A full-length photo of the Doxy WandWand vibrators are my jam. I adore them. While I’m not the person to suggest that your first vibrator should be a knock-your-socks-off powerhouse, I personally love powerful and broad vibes like the Doxy Wand. It may seem like once you’ve tried one wand vibrator, you’ve tried them all, but that’s not true. There’s a lot of factors other than just raw power, like head shape, vibration quality, material, mains powered or rechargeable, whether it’s waterproof, and so on. I haven’t had the luxury of trying many wand vibrators other than the Doxy and the Vibratex Magic and Mystic Wands, but even considering the other vibrators in my collection, the Doxy Wand comes out on top.

There are two categories of reasons as to why I love the Doxy: why I love it as a sex toy user, and why I love it as an Australian. First of all, the vibrations on the Doxy are seriously rumbly, and I can feel them vibrating the whole of my internal clitoris, without buzzing against my pubic bone. I can feel my whole genital area light up when I initially press the Doxy against it. It makes thrusting a dildo even more intense than if I was using a different vibe, because the vibrations reach that far. The head is sufficiently broad, and has a bit of squish so I can jam it up against my cock without bruising either my cock or my mons. As I’ve said in my bio, I prefer this stronger kind of vibration to come through my hood rather than directly onto the exposed portion of my cock. I find that the Doxy doesn’t force orgasms out of me in the way that the Magic Wand does, but that I have some control over when I orgasm through the use of my kegel muscles. This allows the build up to be much more pleasurable, and I can hold onto the lovely, toe-curling portion just before orgasm for a much longer period. The controls are easy to understand, with large buttons spaced a reasonable distance apart, so I don’t accidentally turn it off when IThe buttons on the Doxy Wand: minus, plus, power. meant to turn it up. There is also a pattern on the Doxy, which is an escalating vibration that goes from the lowest intensity to the highest intensity. You can change the speed of the escalation with the up and down buttons. This is my favourite type of pattern, because it is variable and has negligible gaps between each portion. However, I find it a bit difficult to turn the wand over to the pattern, which requires you to press the power button in quick succession. I find it difficult to work out exactly how close together or far apart the presses are meant to be in order to start the vibration pattern. Even so, I really enjoyed this vibration pattern, and I was able to orgasm from it alone.

The Doxy Wand really pulls through for me when nothing else will. At the beginning of 2017, I was incredibly anxious because of some feelings I had for a friend, centring around my fear of rejection, and this made my orgasms difficult to reach. The build up wasn’t pleasurable and the actual orgasm was weak, because I had to strain so much to even get close. I couldn’t orgasm with gentler vibes like the Iroha Midori, and the usually powerful suction of the Satisfyer Pro 2 wasn’t doing anything for me. They didn’t even feel good. I was scared, especially since I had just ventured into the world of sex toy reviewing, that my ability to orgasm would be gone forever. This made me more anxious, which made orgasming hard even after I had opened up about my feelings. I looked to my wand vibrators in my time of need. The Magic Wand made me orgasm, but the build up was still bland and the orgasm hard to reach. However, when I used the Doxy Wand, I really relaxed into it, and the orgasm that came with it was something close to normal. I think it has something to do with the rumbliness, but whatever the reason, the Doxy will forever be my first choice when I need a quick, easy orgasm, whatever the circumstances.

As for the reasons why I like the Doxy as an Australian, it all comes down to the AU plug. Most mains powered vibrators come from the US, and often aren’t made with an Australian power plug. For my Neon Wand, Eroscillator, and Magic Wand, I have to use a step down transformer, which turns the higher Australian voltage into something US appliances can deal with. It’s heavy, takes up a lot of space in my drawers, and is just a general inconvenience. If I want to take something to someone else’s house, or even a play party, I have to cart both the actual toy and the transformer. It’s so exciting to have something equivalent to the Magic Wand in power that I can plug right into mains power. While the Magic Wand is about AUD 80, if you include shipping from the US and the price of the step down transformer (about AUD 50), it starts getting pretty close to the AUD 200 that the Doxy Wand retails for. If you’re in the US, I’m not sure if I would recommend buying the Doxy Wand, because it retails for USD 140, and that seems a bit steep. I would recommend opting for something non-porous instead, like the Magic Wand Rechargeable. (I am still yet to try the MWR but I had heard good reviews from people I trust.)

The porous head of the Doxy WandHowever, it’s not all sunshine and roses with the Doxy. Primarily, the head of the Doxy is porous, so can’t be fully disinfected. It’s not safe for use between non-fluid bonded partners, and can harbour bacteria. While I don’t use the Doxy Wand with partners, I would still appreciate the peace of mind that comes with a non-porous vibrator. There is another (more expensive) model with a silicone head, the Doxy Die Cast, but that is more expensive and not as readily available in Australia. Another downside, which is true of most wand vibrators, is that the Doxy is pretty heavy. I have a chronic joint condition, which means that sometimes the Doxy is hard on my elbows and wrists. It’s also loud, but with a low rumble rather than a high-pitched whir. This is not a stealthy toy but any means. And, perhaps most infuriatingly, the Doxy starts on the middle setting, meaning if you want to start on the lower vibration settings, you have to turn it down before using it. This seems non-sensical – why put a whole heap of vibration intensities below, where someone might not realise they are? I don’t generally use a gentler vibrator before using the Doxy, so I want to start on the lowest settings, and it just means that there’s a few extra moments of frustration before I get to put the vibe on my genitals.

In my opinion, given how often I use the Doxy, the convenience of an AU plug, and the situations in which it has saved me from abject fear, it is worth the AUD 200 I spent on it. In the question that every sex toy reviewer eventually gets asked, “If you could only use one toy for the rest of your life, what would it be?”, my answer is, hands down, the Doxy Wand. It is not just among my favourites, it is my favourite. However, if you don’t adore wand vibrators, are happy with your Magic Wand, or need a non-porous surface for your vibrator, I don’t think that the Doxy Wand is for you. For the rest of you though, have at it!

If you’re interested in buying a Doxy Wand, you can find one at my favourite stores: Lovehoney (AU, US, UK), Early to Bed (US), Peepshow Toys (US), SheVibe (US), SheBop (US)

For a silicone head, buy the Doxy Die Cast at my favourite stores: Lovehoney (US, UK), Peepshow Toys (US), SheVibe (US), SheBop (US)

The Iroha Midori, with some of the outer silicone layer being pinched to create a wrinkle,

Tenga Iroha Midori Review

The Iroha Midori in its magnetic charging case, which is a covered by clear plastic.I got to know my Tenga Iroha Midori again this Christmas, while my family were over and I was sleeping in the lounge room because someone was staying in my room. It’s quiet, small, and for a long while has lived in my bedside drawer. Before a shower, I can shove it in my pocket without anyone noticing as I sneak out of my room and into the bathroom. (Not that the Iroha line are waterproof, they’re only splash proof, but the bathroom is the only room in my house with a lock.) Over this time, I remembered why I was devoted to this little vibrator for so long. The first vibrator I ever used was a partner’s original model of the Lelo Mona, and while it gave me easy orgasms, I found the shape awkward for external stimulation, especially after hormones. I received the Neon Bullet XL (which I only picked because it was neon green) for my 18th birthday, and it ran on one AAA battery and had one pathetic speed. I then bought the Pipedream Maxi Wanachi Massager, which was super buzzy (read: bad) and noisier than I was comfortable with. My first luxury vibrator was the ill-fated We-Vibe Touch, which I exchanged for the Iroha Midori. I was a bit nervous about the magnetic charging, but it seemed that gravity and the nice charging house worked in my favour, and I have never had a problem with charging the Midori. The Midori was the first vibrator that I really loved, that really worked for me. It was a stalwart for a good year and a half, until I encountered the  powerhouse that is the Magic Wand, and subsequently bought my beloved Doxy Wand. With the combination of the Doxy and more time home alone, I didn’t need the Midori as much anymore, because size and noise volume weren’t important factors in my masturbation anymore. That doesn’t mean that the Midori isn’t any good though, as I learnt these holidays.

The Iroha Midori sitting on fabric.The Midori isn’t as strong as the Touch, and only has three speeds to the Touch’s four. However, I can come on the second setting, and the third setting gets me there with ease. I would consider the Midori to be gentle. (Evidence that high-power wands do not numb your genitals, at least not permanently.) The vibrations are also acceptably rumbly, which is impressive because this line is Tenga’s first shot at making a vibrator, as opposed to the penis masturbators they also design. I chose the Midori instead of the other vibrators in the original Iroha line because it was green for the possibility of both broad and pinpoint stimulation, because I was just working out what I liked in a vibrator. I now know that I like gentler vibrators to be more pinpoint, so I can position them on the exposed tip of my cock, and stronger vibrators to be more broad, so I can stimulate the shaft of my cock through the hood. The smaller section of the Midori toes that line between broad enough to cover the tip of my cock, which has grown due to hormones, and pinpoint enough to deliver really direct vibrations to that area. What makes the Midori my The Iroha Midori, with some of the outer silicone layer being pinched to create a wrinkle,favourite vibrator for this kind of stimulation is something that I think is unique to the Iroha line – they are all made of a soft, squishy elastomer covered in body-safe silicone. This means that I can apply a lot of pressure to my cock without feeling like it is being crushed, and I don’t feel bruised afterwards like I can from an intense session with the Magic Wand. Before hormones, I also used to liked to use the Midori upside down, with the power buttons facing away from me, and most of the body of the vibrator in contact with my junk, butI find this too diffuse nowadays, because the vibrations are focused in the smaller portion.

The Midori is a commendable first vibrator from Tenga, especially with the soft texture. It is not incredibly pinpoint, but it is not too broad for my tastes. I would definitely recommend it as someone’s first luxury vibrator if they know they can orgasm from medium-level vibrations.

If you’re interested in buying a Tenga Iroha Midori, you can find one at my favourite stores: Max Black (AU, NZ), SheVibe (US)

Fun Factory Big Boss G5 Review

The Fun Factory G5 Big Boss filled the gaping hole in my sex toy collection – for more than two years, I didn’t own a reliable internal vibrator. Sure, I had a (possibly? hopefully?) TPE disaster that I bought a month after my 18th birthday, but I’m sensible enough not to use that anymore. I briefly flirted with a Fun Factory Stronic Eins, but I don’t own one myself. The truth is, since I’ve graduated to body-safe materials, I have mainly whiled away my orgasming hours with dildos. Nevertheless, I have wanted the Big Boss for a while now, and I finally got around to buying it. The immediate upside to the Big Boss is that it is cheaper than the Stronic Eins at AUD130-150. I was disappointed that the G5 model doesn’t come in orange like the G4 did, but I settled with hot pink. (The peach looks more like a disembodied penis than most realistic dildos I have ever seen. Maybe it’s the lack of a base?) The charging base is magnetic, which gives me flashbacks, but it seemed to charge well enough while shoved in a drawer so that I didn’t have to stare at those annoying flashy lights. One thing I love about Fun Factory, though, is that all their rechargeable toys come with a USB charger rather than a wall charger, so I can buy Fun Factory toys from the US or the UK and not have to worry about getting a down-step transformer.

big-boss-2The silicone on this vibrator was another fun surprise. I expected it to be draggy like my other Fun Factory toy, the Amor stub, but it was quite smooth. Not quite buttery, but not pulling on my skin either. That said, it is still a major lint magnet! Plus, there is a fair amount of give to the silicone, which is not something I expected from a vibrator. Most insertables I’ve used have a very thin silicone layer over the plastic housing, so this was a really nice change. I was worried that this softness would dampen the vibrations, but it really, really didn’t.

The Big Boss is, well, big. At its largest point, it is 1.8 inches in diameter. That’s bigger than the Tantus Cush O2. Insertion is a bit of a feat, and the first few times I felt that I had to warm up before I even went near the Big Boss. I don’t need to do that too much anymore, but I do need to be aroused. I can’t shove this straight into me like I can with other smaller dildos, which leads to some awkward juggling when one hand is holding the Doxy Wand and the other hand is smeared with lube. (which I need a lot of with the Big Boss!) It takes a while to ease the head into me, and I can’t have anything in my ass while I’m doing it or I clench right up, but there’s a really satisfying pop when the ridge passes mbig-boss-1y vaginal entrance. Even if the initial stretch is painful, as soon as the Big Boss makes contact with my g-spot, I can’t even feel it. The vibrations are deep and rumbly and it feels like they even stimulate my cock. I haven’t squirted with the Big Boss yet, but that is mostly because pulling it out makes me a little too sensitive for me to do very quickly, so it tends to stay quite stationary when I’m using it.

One pet peeve is that once the Big Boss is turned on, it starts its vibrations in the middle, so you either have to scroll down before inserting it, or deal with the sudden drop in sensation when scrolling down while it’s inserted. I also really love the patterns, because they aren’t pulses with pauses in between, but waves with increasing and decreasing strengths. I hardly ever use them when I’m close to orgasm though, because I find that the patterns mess with the build up, due to the strength of the vibrator. If it was weaker (knock on wood) I probably could stay with the patterns, but the Big Boss really interacts with the external vibrator. The shape of this vibrator is also ingenious. I’ve already mentioned how much I love the head, but there’s a bump just underneath the head that presses right up against my G-spot. I prefer to tilt my toys by pulling the handle to the floor, and this bump really facilitates that. I can’t feel the ridges on the lower end of the vibrator, though, because I can’t ever fit the whole of the Big Boss inside me. Maybe if you have a longer vaginal canal, you might be able to feel the ridges, but they don’t do anything for me. The looped handle is a bit odd to hold and I can’t really get a hang of how to use it for thrusting, but it’s handy for jiggling type motions.


I don’t want to fault a toy for something it’s not meant to do, but just in case you were looking for a versatile vibrator, the Big Boss doesn’t work for external stimulation in my opinion. The handle is too long and the silicone too flexible to reliably stimulate my cock. However, I can push my cock down to meet the rest of the shaft and receive external stimulation that way. It’s incredibly lazy and I’ve only done it as a last resort when all my other external vibrators were out of battery, and I don’t expect that every person with a clitoris (especially not cis women) would be able to do this. It’s really a testament to the strength of the vibrations, that they travel all the way down the shaft. Surprisingly, though, the handle doesn’t vibrate very much.

The Big Boss is a really well-received addition to my sex toy collection. If you can handle the size, the deep, rumbly vibrations of the Big Boss are well worth the price.

If you’re interested in buying a Fun Factory Big Boss G5, you can find one at my favourite stores: Max Black (AU, NZ), Lovehoney (AU, US, UK), Peepshow Toys (US), SheVibe (US), SheBop (US), Fun Factory (EU)

We-Vibe Touch Review

My heartbreaking tryst with the We-Vibe Touch 2 has left me wary of magnetic recharging systems to this day. So much was riding on it when I first bought it, and it let me down. Deep, deep down. I bought the We-Vibe from my local sex store. It was the first rechargeable vibrator I had ever bought. I’d saved up for months. When I took it home, I was impatient to charge it, as I always am with new toys. It was rumbly in a way that “first time toys” rarely are, and I could reach orgasm on every setting. The patterns were fun, and the silicone was soft in my hands. But after a month or so, the Touch broke. It wouldn’t charge anymore, and I took it back to get a refund. The attendant explained that it was probably a faulty charging port, and exchanged it for a new vibe. I charged this one, and used it through ONE charge, but after that charge was used up, the vibe wouldn’t charge again. I went to the store for a third time, frustrated and disappointed. The attendant suggested I try a different model, but I was determined to try one last time. This time, I charged the Touch, used it once, and it never turned on again. I finally gave in, and exchanged it for a different vibe entirely. Thank god for reputable sex shops, thank god for warranties, thank god for options.

The We-Vibe is wonderful in a lot of ways, and there’s a reason I didn’t want to give it up without a fight. It was very exciting for a first toy, coming in a presentable little box, nestled in foam, with a toy bag. It’s wonderfully soft, and the shape makes it really easy to hold. I do tend to white-knuckle whatever I’m holding when I’m close to orgasm, and the Touch was just a bit too small to accommodate that, but it was otherwise easier to hold than your average bullet. The dip in the centre really allows for a secure grip. It’s strong too, much more so than anything else I had tried at the time. It’s still stronger than the replacement vibe I got when it broke for the third time. The patterns aren’t the best thing since sliced bread, but they’re more than bearable, and I found myself using the wave-like one to warm up. I am usually loathe to use the patterns on vibes, and only use the one on the Lelo Mona 2 that sounds like Old McDonald Had A Farm when I’m looking for a laugh. The Touch also had a wonderful cup shape, that I could cover over my whole cock for a really broad stimulation, (it probably wouldn’t fit now that I’ve been on hormones for almost two years, though) but it also had a pointier tip that could deliver more precise vibrations when that was what I was looking for. I didn’t love the controls, which is just a single button that you press to cycle through the different modes. This leads to the accidental switch from the highest level to the pulse setting, which is teeth-grindingly frustrating on the verge of orgasm. It was also a standard price for rechargeable vibrators – I paid AUD125, or USD95.

But despite all this, I can’t ever recommend someone this vibrator. It’s wonderful while it works, but that’s where the emphasis should be – while it works. I’m lucky that I’m so stubborn, because if I wasn’t, I might have sworn off rechargeables all together. Maybe I just had the worst luck, but I can’t discount three separate broken vibrators. Maybe if We-Vibe introduced a new charging base or updated the Touch again, I would think about buying another, but at the moment, I’m steering clear of this particular vibrator.

If you’re interested in buying a We-Vibe Touch, you can find one at my favourite stores: Early to Bed (US), Good Vibrations (US), Lovehoney (AU, US, UK), Peepshow Toys (US), Max Black (AU, NZ), SheVibe (US), and SheBop (US).