Welcome to Casual Voyeurs, to my interview series! I’m interviewing my friends and partners about their relationship to sex, both as a way to showcase different opinions on sex and sexuality, and also to give a little glimpse into the people I surround myself with. This first interview is with my sweet, sensitive, switchy girlfriend of two years.
Introduce yourself! How do you identify and what are your pronouns?
I’m a non-binary trans woman, and I use she/her pronouns.
Why are you interested in sex?
What’s not to love?? It’s intimate, you get up close and personal with people, it’s intense and it’s lots and lots of fun.
What was your sex education in school like? Was it relevant to how you have sex today?
Not even slightly. They don’t teach you anything about anal, and it was otherwise pretty limited.
What was your first sex toy?
A small cheap vibrator, that didn’t make me come but was very nice
What was your first visit to a sex shop like?
I honestly don’t remember much. I think I was a bit intimidated, but mostly curious.
How did you find out about safe sex toy materials?
I don’t know that I ever really did, to be perfectly honest. I think you’re the person who tells me the most.
What is your favourite part of sex?
I think it has to be when I make the other person moan. Either that, or being slowly worked up to orgasm with lots of teasing.
What is the scariest part of sex?
Whenever someone says to stop I always have a split second of panic that I’ve hurt them or gone too far. I think as well though, sometimes opening yourself up like that can be very emotional, and I have a definite fear of rejection around sex.
How does sex interact with your mental health?
Wildly variable. Sometimes it helps me feel better, sometimes I seek out the approval, and sometimes I feel too bad about myself to want it.
How does sex interact with your gender?
Not as much these days, but I used to have a real panic and anxiety around penetrating people and being too man-like in doing so. I’m more comfortable about it now.
How does kink interact with your sex life?
Not often enough! It’s usually a nice addition if the people involved have the time or energy to do it.
How does kink interact with your everyday life?
Not really much, aside from sometimes I wear collars out, because they’re cute.
If you could have any sex toy, what would it be?
Hard question. I’m really curious about We-Vibes. Aside from that I’m usually pretty self sufficient, other than a nice butt plug.
If you could buy me any sex toy, what would it be?
Some kind of elaborate fucking machine probably, something intense for personal use.
Finn’s rating: 8/10 – I’ve been curious about fucking machines but often the attachments aren’t body safe. Though maybe this answer encompasses a Sybian?!